My head is spinning, faster and faster, stirring up so much dust that I cannot see the path before me.
I want to scream for help, but my lungs are so full of filth that not a single word can escape my broken lips.
Questions fill my mind...
Do I hold my breath and take a chance?
Will someone be there to walk with me through this living hell?
Will He provide a safe escape that lets me grow positively from my weakness?
Will this painful torture ever let me go?
There are people in my life that want to hold my hand, but fear of abandonment keep my binding chains wrapped tight around my heart.
Will He help me let them in?
Noises escape my insides that bring fear and concern to the eyes of those who love me, can He take my desire for beauty and redirect it to a safer passion?
My heart no longer craves attention, punishment, addiction, but my head refuses to let go of the debts.
Will there ever be an end to these struggles?
I pray for answers, I wait in fear.
Impatience, anger, yearning, desire, all consume my precious time.
Will I ever learn to love myself for who I am, not who I am striving to be?
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